day 66 - Thursday

First off I am going to say I really don't want to write tonight, but I made a commitment.


I am finding it very difficult to stay on track or rather get back on track after being off for a while. I decide everyday is going to be better than the last, but unfortunately at the end of the day I find myself in the same spot over again. I know that when I eat better I feel better. I know that with my head, but convincing my heart at times is not easy. I have always dealt with stress with food. I am trying to break that vicious cycle. The situation with my son is very difficult and very emotional. It will take many years with a lot of work to get through this. I know that God is in control, and that he has a plan. I also know that he shows us his grace and mercy. Because of his grace I can live my life. I am trying to teach my son about grace. He is a very strong young man and with the grace of God we will come through these trying times. I am learning how to deal with my emotions in ways other than eating. I have certain times of the day that are much harder than others. Yes my emotions are on high and will be for some time, however I need to not make the situation with my son control me and leave me with an excuse. The problem with excuses is there will always be another in the waiting to take the place of the current one. I am struggling to break 31 years of habit. I can do this, I want to do this. I thank everyone for the encouragement on this journey. I thank you for standing by me and supporting me and being an ear to listen when I need to talk or cry or whatever.