Amazing Grace
Therapy has been a part of this journey. Last week I was really upset after my session. This week I wasn't. My therapist reminded me about Grace. And how Jesus dying on the cross, means he paid the price for my sins. I can let them go, because he paved the way. Grace and Mercy are the acceptance that I am forgiven, and that I don't need to continue to carry the baggage with me.
I have some good days and some bad days. I have learned a lot and will continue to learn a lot as I continue down this journey. I really got a refresher course on Grace today. I also made the realization of why I have struggled with my faith for several years. It is amazing how much every part of my life is interconnected. I deal with my emotions and my feelings with food. My son has the same issues, only he deals with things with physical destruction and anger. Neither of us deal with the issues directly, but more indirectly. Which means that if something upsets us in any way we run away and go to our comfort way of dealing with stuff. For me that is food. For him it is violence.
Some of the things I have learned like if I don't' eat well I feel bad is for some reason easy to forget. I am getting better at remembering that lesson before over indulging. I have also learned that high carbs equal a headache. I hate headaches, but have lived with them for years, so they are managable. I have headaches so bad that I really didn't know what relief was from a headache and how easy it is not to have them. For the most part. I do still have some other headaches but not like I used to. The way I feel is directly related to what I eat.
Food is for nourishment, not entertainment. That is difficult to remeber at times. The lure of food is everywhere, on every street, on every tv channel, on every radio station. It is a part of the culture we live in. Making this realization really changed the way I have been thinking. I have a new respect for food at least tonight.
I ate horribly yesterday, and today early in the day not good. It is ok to not be perfect, but realization is a big step for me.
Amen. You know, that is a family trait, to run away from what bothers us and take comfort in food. Hide in it.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of the progress that you are making. Just stay on the path, even if it wavers a little sometimes. It will eventully lead you where you are wanting to go.